Life has an uncanny way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect it. These moments often force us to hit the pause button, causing a disruption in our plans and dreams. However, pushing the reset button doesn't mean starting from zero or falling backwards. Instead, it presents an opportunity to rethink our approach, refine our talents, and emerge stronger and wiser. This notion holds especially true when it comes to forming a bond with a new horse.

The Honeymoon Phase with a New Horse

When we first brought Cruiser, our new horse, into our lives, we were filled with hope and excitement. We believed we had found the perfect horse, ready to embark on a wonderful journey with my daughter, Sophia, as they prepared for their high school rodeo year. We knew it would take a year or two to fully understand Cruiser's behavior and mechanics, but we were committed to the process.

However, life had other plans. After a promising start, Sophia was thrown off Cruiser twice within three days. While she had fallen off horses before, this time was different. Fear gripped her, and as a parent, I found myself needing to reset both my daughter's confidence and our approach to understanding Cruiser.

The Parallel Between Human and Horse Behavior

My background is in education, specifically in understanding adolescent and early childhood development and behaviors. Interestingly, there are parallels between human and horse behavior and communication. Both require patience, understanding, and a tailored approach to foster growth and development.

Conquering Fear

The first step in hitting the reset button was addressing Sophia's fear. Fear can be paralyzing, but it can also be a powerful motivator for growth. We worked on acknowledging her fear and gradually exposing her to situations where she could rebuild her confidence. This process was not just about getting back on a horse but doing so in a controlled and supportive environment.

Building Confidence

Rebuilding confidence is crucial after a setback. Sophia continued to ride horses she was familiar with, gradually regaining her trust in her abilities. Each successful ride was a small victory, reinforcing her belief in herself. This phase was about celebrating progress, no matter how small, and understanding that growth often happens in incremental steps.

Mental and Physical Readiness

Resetting also involves preparing mentally and physically. For Sophia, this meant engaging in strength training and maintaining good nutrition. Physical readiness goes hand in hand with mental preparedness. Feeling strong and healthy can significantly impact one's confidence and ability to face challenges head-on.

Surrounding Yourself with Like-Minded People

Having a supportive community is invaluable during times of reset. We surrounded ourselves with experienced riders, trainers, and friends who understood our journey. Their encouragement, advice, and shared experiences provided a sense of camaraderie and reassurance.

How to Support Your Teen

Supporting your teenager in overcoming their fears can be challenging yet rewarding. Here are some simple tips to help guide you:

1. Listen Actively: Give them your full attention, listen without interrupting, and acknowledge their feelings.

2. Validate Their Feelings: Let them know it's okay to feel scared and that their feelings are normal and understandable.

3. Encourage Gradual Exposure: Help them face their fears in small, manageable steps, gradually increasing the challenge as their confidence grows.

4. Teach Relaxation Techniques: Introduce them to methods such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and visualization to manage anxiety.

5. Be Supportive and Patient: Offer encouragement and patience, celebrating small victories to build their confidence.

6. Model Coping Strategies: Demonstrate healthy ways to handle fear and stress, providing a positive example for them to follow.

7. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If their fears are overwhelming, consider involving a therapist or counselor for additional support.

8. Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Help them develop a habit of replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

9. Set Realistic Goals: Work with them to set achievable goals and break down tasks into smaller, less intimidating steps.

10. Maintain Open Communication: Keep the lines of communication open, ensuring they feel comfortable coming to you with their concerns.

Preparing for the Second Honeymoon Phase

As Cruiser continues his training, we are preparing for our second honeymoon phase with him. This period is about approaching our relationship with renewed insight and strategies. Here are some steps we're taking to ensure a smoother journey ahead:

1. Understanding Cruiser's Behavior: We're investing time in learning more about Cruiser's specific behaviors and communication signals. This involves reading, attending workshops, and consulting with experts to gain a deeper understanding of what makes him tick.

2. Setting Realistic Goals: Our initial expectations may have been too high. This time, we're setting more realistic and achievable goals, celebrating small milestones along the way.

3. Consistent Training and Routine: Consistency is key in building trust and understanding with a horse. We're committed to maintaining a regular training schedule, ensuring that both Sophia and Cruiser are on the same page.

4. Emphasizing Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in both human and animal training. Rewarding good behavior and progress helps build a positive association and encourages desired actions.

5. Maintaining Open Communication: Keeping lines of communication open between Sophia, the trainer, and myself ensures that we're all aligned in our approach. This helps in addressing any concerns or adjustments needed promptly.

Embracing the Journey

Life's pause and reset moments are not setbacks but opportunities for growth and refinement. Our journey with Cruiser has taught us resilience, patience, and the importance of understanding. While the road ahead may still have its challenges, we're better equipped to handle them.

In conclusion, hitting the pause button allows us to reassess and reset with greater insight. It's a chance to refine our approach, build confidence, and prepare for the next phase with a renewed sense of purpose. For Sophia, Cruiser, and me, this journey is not just about riding a horse but about embracing the highs and lows, learning from them, and moving forward stronger than before.