We embarked on the road, ready to wrap up this year's rodeo season with our new horse, Cruiser, over the weekend. Considerable preparation preceded this outing, given that Cruiser had only been with us for a few months. Impressively, he was adapting well to our routine, handling everything from trailering to stalling and participating in the events: goat tying, pole bending, and barrels. As we trailed toward our destination, Soph and I engaged in discussions about various strategies and potential scenarios. Spirits were high with anticipation, and it seemed like we had a solid plan in place.

However, what I hadn't prepared myself for was the abrupt shift in my daughter's demeanor—from a confident "I've got this" attitude to what felt like a complete breakdown. While I've dealt with meltdowns and tears before, this felt different. It was like a switch had been flipped, leaving me feeling helpless. Despite my best efforts, none of my usual strategies seemed to work. Frustration and exhaustion took over, and I found myself reacting in a way that I later regretted. It wasn't until I took a deep breath and allowed Soph to express her feelings that I realized the source of her distress. She confessed to feeling anxious about the entry parade, especially carrying the flag with Cruiser. She explained how Cruiser tends to react when other horses get too close or approach from behind, causing her considerable worry. It dawned on me that her apparent fussiness about her attire wasn't just about fashion—it was a manifestation of her nerves. We delved into a discussion about the difference between anxiety and nervousness. I wanted her to understand that what she was feeling was perfectly normal and that it's essential to distinguish between the two. Nervousness, I explained, is a fleeting feeling often triggered by the fear of the unknown, while anxiety tends to be more intense and persistent.

After our conversation, I could sense a shift in Soph's demeanor. Armed with this newfound understanding, she seemed more composed and ready to face the challenge ahead. As for Cruiser, I realized the importance of being mindful of my own emotions while riding. Horses are incredibly perceptive animals and can pick up on subtle cues from their riders. It's crucial to maintain a calm and confident demeanor to facilitate positive interactions.

Reflecting on the experience, I realized the importance of being a supportive presence for my daughter, especially in moments of vulnerability. Sometimes, all she needs is someone to listen and reassure her that everything will be okay. As we navigated through the weekend, the bond between Soph and Cruiser grew stronger, culminating in a successful outing despite the initial jitters.
In the end, it's about finding that delicate balance between preparation, understanding, and support—a lesson that applies not only to rodeo events but to life's challenges as well.

Here are some good things to know: Anxiety and nervousness are both common emotional states, but they differ in several key aspects:

Intensity and Duration:

• Anxiety tends to be more intense and persistent than nervousness. It can last for extended periods and may interfere with daily activities.

• Nervousness is often shorter-lived and may be more specific to certain situations or events.

1. Physical Symptoms:

• Anxiety can manifest with physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, stomach discomfort, and fatigue.

• Nervousness may also involve physical symptoms, but they are typically less severe and may include butterflies in the stomach, sweating palms, or a slight increase in heart rate.

2. Triggers:

• Anxiety can be triggered by a wide range of situations, thoughts, or perceived threats. It may not always have an obvious cause.

• Nervousness is often triggered by specific events or situations that are perceived as threatening or unfamiliar, such as public speaking, exams, or social gatherings.

3. Impact on Functioning:

• Anxiety can significantly impact a teen's ability to function in various areas of life, including school, relationships, and daily activities.

• Nervousness may cause temporary discomfort or distraction but generally does not impair functioning to the same extent as anxiety.

4. Underlying Factors:

• Anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder, or panic disorder, involve persistent and excessive anxiety that goes beyond normal nervousness.

• Nervousness is a common emotion experienced by individuals of all ages and is not necessarily indicative of an underlying anxiety disorder unless it becomes chronic or significantly interferes with daily life.

Overall, while anxiety and nervousness share some similarities, the key differences lie in their intensity, duration, impact on functioning, and underlying causes. It's essential for teens experiencing either emotion to seek support from trusted adults or mental health professionals to address their concerns and develop coping strategies.  Jennifer Katzenstein, Ph. D Director of Psychology and Neuropsychology at John’s Hopkins Children’s Hospital discusses the stress and anxiety related to the transitions occurring in the teenage years, especially transitions between school years, completing high school and moving to the next steps, as well as the social stressors of the teenage years.

Here are five effective ways for a teenager to relieve nervousness before an event:

1. Deep Breathing Exercises: Encourage deep breathing exercises to calm the nervous system. Instruct them to take slow, deep breaths, inhaling deeply through the nose and exhaling slowly through the mouth. This helps to reduce physiological symptoms of nervousness like rapid heartbeat and shallow breathing, promoting relaxation.

2. Positive Visualization: Guide them to visualize themselves successfully navigating the event. Encourage them to imagine positive outcomes, visualize themselves feeling confident and composed, and visualize the event unfolding smoothly. Positive visualization can help reduce anxiety and increase self-confidence.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Teach them progressive muscle relaxation techniques. This involves systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body, starting from the toes and working up to the head. This helps to release physical tension and promotes relaxation.

4. Practice and Preparation: Encourage adequate preparation and practice for the event. Help them break down the event into manageable steps and practice each step until they feel comfortable and confident. Preparation can help reduce uncertainty and increase feelings of control, thereby reducing nervousness.

5. Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Encourage healthy lifestyle habits leading up to the event, such as getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated, and engaging in regular physical activity. These habits support overall well-being and can help reduce stress and nervousness.

Additionally, remind them that it's normal to feel nervous before an event and that nervousness can actually be helpful in small doses, as it can enhance focus and performance. Encourage them to view nervousness as a natural part of the experience and to approach it with a positive mindset. And guess what, after the initial nervousness and taking those helpful 5 tips, her mood and the pendulum swang back over to the confident girl that I know best! Cruiser went in a little slow in the events, but the experience for him and her was the winning combo of overcoming those pre-rodeo jitters. 

Ensuring that Cruiser, and your horse, are exposed to various environments, sights, and sounds is crucial during daily training. This not only benefits you as the rider but also considers how your horse reacts in different situations, especially when you're feeling nervous. Horses are incredibly perceptive creatures and can pick up on subtle cues like your rapid heartbeat or stiff movements, which directly influence the communication between you and your horse. When you're nervous while riding, your horse can sense and respond to your emotions and physical signals. They're highly attuned to their surroundings and the emotions of those around them, including their riders.

Here's how a horse might react to a nervous rider:

1. Heightened Awareness: Horses are sensitive animals with acute senses. They can detect changes in their rider's posture, breathing patterns, and subtle cues in body language. When a rider is nervous, they may tense up, hold their breath, or give conflicting signals to the horse, which the horse can perceive as a potential threat or cause for concern.

2. Increased Tension: If a rider is nervous, they may inadvertently transmit tension through the reins, saddle, or their body language. Horses are responsive to these physical cues and may interpret them as a sign of danger or discomfort. In response, the horse may become tense or anxious themselves, mirroring the rider's emotions.

3. Decreased Confidence: A nervous rider may lack confidence in their ability to control the horse or handle unexpected situations. Horses are sensitive to changes in their rider's confidence level and may respond by testing boundaries, becoming hesitant, or exhibiting behaviors such as spooking or resisting cues.

4. Altered Communication: Nervousness can affect a rider's ability to communicate effectively with their horse. They may struggle to give clear, consistent cues or may overcorrect in an attempt to compensate for their anxiety. This can lead to confusion or misinterpretation on the part of the horse, disrupting the rider-horse partnership and potentially leading to misunderstandings or conflicts.

5. Calming Techniques: Some horses may respond to a nervous rider by attempting to provide reassurance or comfort. They may lower their head, slow their pace, or offer subtle calming signals in an effort to soothe their rider's nerves. However, if the rider's nervousness persists or escalates, it can override these calming signals and further exacerbate the horse's anxiety.

Overall, a horse's response to a nervous rider can vary depending on the individual horse, their training, and their relationship with the rider. It's important for riders to be mindful of their emotions and body language while riding and to work on developing a calm, confident demeanor to help facilitate positive interactions with their horse. Additionally, seeking guidance from experienced trainers or instructors can provide valuable support in managing nervousness and improving the rider-horse relationship.

In conclusion, mastering the art of supporting a young rider who is driven to excel in their endeavors requires a delicate balance. It's about creating a space where they feel empowered to express their emotions freely, even if they're not seeking advice. Sometimes, all they need is the reassurance of our presence and the comfort of knowing that we're there to listen and support them through every challenge.