What if it all Works Out? Axienties of the What Ifs
Pond Hill Ranch, Poultney VT - Fall 2023
Yes, I admit it. There was a time when I would hear that nagging voice in my head before facing something new. The self-doubt and worry would fill my mind with endless "what if" scenarios. I felt the need to plan out every possible outcome, even though this would be my first time going on a big adventure like this. I packed way too much and tried to convince myself that I knew what I was getting myself into. I had only trailered the horse a few times before, but those were short trips. This time, we were going to a different state. But, just like having a baby, there was no turning back now. I had already paid for everything, Remington was finally prepared to race after a much longer anticipated training season, and my teenage daughter was bursting with excitement. It was like Christmas morning for her, can’t disappoint now! However, I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to expect. The night before, I cried as I thought about how I would even get there. To distract myself, I stayed up late packing and organizing the truck and trailer like a game of Tetris. I made sure everyone - the dog, the chickens, my son, and my husband - had everything they needed as if they couldn't manage without me! The anticipation was palpable as I checked and double-checked the route on my smartphone, mapping out each gas station and rest stop along the way. I knew deep down that this adventure would push me out of my comfort zone, forcing me to confront my fears head-on. And yet, despite the uncertainty that weighed on my shoulders, I couldn't deny the excitement that flickered within me. This journey, this leap into the unknown, held the promise of growth and discovery. Perhaps it was time to let go of my need for control and embrace the unfolding of the unexpected. As I climbed into the driver's seat the next morning, a renewed sense of determination coursed through my veins. This would be an adventure like no other, a chance to prove to myself that I was capable of facing the unknown with courage and resilience. My hands trembled slightly as I turned the key in the ignition, but as the engine roared to life, so did my spirit. I glanced over at my daughter, her eyes shining with anticipation, and I knew that we were about to embark on a journey that would forever change us. With one last breath, I released the doubts that had held me back for far too long and set off on the road to the extraordinary.
As I completed each task to go from point A to point B, it became easier. I hooked up the trailer, checked it off the list. Putting Remington in the trailer wasn't so bad. We started on our route and things were going well. My confidence grew and the worries faded. But then the worries came back: What if there's no place to turn around? What if I can't back the trailer in? What if...ugh! But as I looked towards my right-hand mirror and saw the back of the trailer, my daughter reached over and said, "Mom, this is the best day ever." She looked out at the beautiful Vermont mountains, her hair blowing in the wind. She glanced back to see Remington's ears poking through the trailer. She played with the radio and sang along to a song her father and grandfather would sing. She is my comfort, even though she doesn't know it.
As we began attending more rodeo’s and racing events, the “What if’s” started to fade like a distant memory. Surprisingly, everything always ended up working out, contrary to my initial apprehensions. Maybe not in the way I expected them to, but it all fell into place somehow. If an unexpected problem did arise, we always found a way to figure it out, like solving a puzzle piece by piece and we did it together. It struck me that so much time was often consumed by worry, fretting about the unforeseen. And truth be told, it became tiresome. Draining, both physically and mentally, to the point where I couldn't help but feel that I could have directed my energy towards more productive endeavors. Besides, it was vital that I didn't want my daughter to inherit these worrisome habits that I believed were not healthy in the long run. Thus, on our drives to and from these events, we took the opportunity to have heart-to-heart talks. We chatted up about the things that went well, celebrating our successes, while also discussing the areas where we could improve for next time.
Recently, while scrolling through my favorite podcast app, I stumbled upon a captivating episode by the renowned Mel Robbins. As I listened intently, she introduced a thought-provoking concept that struck a chord with me: "What if it all works out?" These few words held remarkable power, capable of halting the incessant cycle of anxiety and stress that often plagues our minds. Robbins explained that this phrase transcends mere positivity; it serves as a logical intervention against the detrimental habit of fixating on hypothetical future scenarios that may never come to pass. The realization hit me like a lightning bolt - in order to overcome self-doubt, it was crucial to shift gears and take decisive action. Intrigued, I delved further into Robbins' work and came across her insightful book, "The High 5 Habit." Within its pages, she reveals a simple yet transformative approach to seizing control and cultivating unwavering confidence, regardless of the circumstances unfolding in our lives.
So, when you are feeling a little overwhelmed and you find yourself asking, “What if ... change that phrase and replace it with something more positive, like "What if it all works out?" Because in the end, no matter how uncertain or challenging things may seem, they always have a way of falling into place and working out for the best. (1) Embracing this mindset of optimism and trust can help alleviate the pressure and anxiety that often accompanies stressful situations. So, instead of dwelling on the negative possibilities, shift your focus to the positive outcomes that could arise. By doing so, you open yourself up to new opportunities and allow yourself to experience the joy and fulfillment that can come from believing in the power of things working out in your favor. Don't underestimate the strength of a positive mindset; it has a remarkable ability to shape our reality and create a more hopeful and optimistic outlook on life. So, the next time you catch yourself caught up in a loop of "what ifs," remember to reframe your thoughts and ask yourself, "What if it all works out?" You may be pleasantly surprised by the incredible results that await you.
1 The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins https://www.melrobbins.com/high5habit
